blueness

strawberry fields

2008-05-28T10:02:00.002-05:00

have you ever stood in a field of strawberries?

aesthetically, it is not terribly impressive. the plants are very short, bunched up close to the ground. but the scent of ripe strawberries all around you is wonderful.

when you're picking strawberries, remember to go for dark red, firm berries. they should still be on the stem. the field may have very prickly leaves in it, so be careful of your hands. it's not easy to see the strawberries from above; they are often hidden by the thick leaves so you'll have to really look. and once you start looking you can't stop. as you walk around you'll automatically keep your eyes open for that glimmer of juicy red.

living in the suburbs, i could have gone berry-picking many times. there are plenty of farms that are not too far off. but i never have til a few days ago.

i ate one berry straight off the plant. i figured a little bit of dirt wouldn't hurt me. it was delicious - it had the taste of sunshine on it, something you don't get from the grocery store.

once upon a monday morning....

2007-09-27T16:29:00.000-05:00

as the attendant turned the key in the ignition, with the screams of the car alarm assaulting my ears, i couldn't help but think, "i can't believe this is happening." people have car trouble all the time, i know. especially if you buy a used car. (or even a brand-new kia!) but my car, is a gem. sure it's got some dents and yeah, i busted the tail-light myself, but that was not my fault. i mean i hit something, but i did not want to be on the road in that time and place anyway. that however, is another story altogether.

but how often, does a garage attendant set off an alarm that you didn't even know you had while trying to adjust a battery terminal during a routine oil change? these guys at jiffy lube do more than just change your oil, they kinda poke around and check a bunch of things every three thousand miles. well, they noticed one of my battery terminals wasn't sitting down properly - i guess it had been that way for awhile because later on we found a bent penny jammed in there as band-aid to the problem i guess.

as for the alarm, i'm not stupid, i did suspect that the car had had one installed at one time. there's a small red light on top of the steering wheel. but the people who sold it to me never mentioned any alarm, certainly never gave me any means to shut on off if it sounded - so i assumed it had been disabled before i got it. and in the nearly two years i've owned the car, nothing happened to prove i was wrong about that.

ok you're wondering what's the big deal about a car alarm going off? yeah it kills your ears for a minute but then it stops right? well...this one had a kill switch. it completely disables your ignition. so there i was, at jiffy lube, and i couldn't start my car. and everytime anyone tried - and trust me these guys tried everything to try to turn if off, the thing would go off again. starts with a clicking that becomes gradually louder and then there's horns blaring with a screaming banshee for accompaniment. ouch. the other customers kept glancing my way, wondering why the hell i didn't turn the thing off. or at least why did we keep setting it off again.

so the very kind elderly black guy, leonard, who's the main attendant, said what you need to do is take it to an alarm shop. they'll get in and disable the wires. i protested in my squeaky voice (it gets higher when i don't know what to do), that how am i going to take my car anywhere if i can't turn it on? (tow trucks are way expensive and i need to get to work that day too!) did he know anyone he could call, i asked? (don't mechanics all know each other?) someone who could come here and fix it. hmm, leonard thought, let me see. let me talk to my guys.

it turns out that the garage next door, a midas, has a guy filling in that day for someone else. his forte is electrical stuff, isn't that something? he looks at it, does a lot of cursing (he hates alarms, just buy a club he says) and i try to innocently protest that i had nothing to do with putting the alarm there. he just looks at me. the jiffy lube guys push the car outside, on the road in front of the midas,and he gets work.

i wait outside, sitting on the curb. he's under the dashboard pulling out all sorts of wires while i sip my free jiffy lube coffee. it takes him almost an hour. the car starts! yay!!! i smile at him but now he just drives the car back into the garage. he says we still have two problems. the first one is the battery terminal still needs to be fixed. secondly, all those wires he pulled out, would take him hours to reconnect. however, he says, we can just replace the panel of the dashboard and pretend like none of this happened. the car starts, i should not have issues. this makes me nervous but he sounds like he knows what he's talking about. anyway what choice do i have? i gotta get to work.

eventually, he saves my day, and doesn't charge me much either, on account of my "great personality". ha! i guess he didn't hear me on the phone, refusing to be cheered up by my bestest. hehe. what a day! remember, when you buy a used car, even if it's a wonderfully preserved toyota, just check to see if there's an alarm there. if so, remember to get the switch for it.

oh yeah, and i called the used dealership where i bought the car, to chew them out. guess what, they are no longer in business!

the fractured prune

2007-08-29T10:29:00.000-05:00

the best donuts ever - hot and sweet and thick. mmmmmmm!

Canadian invasion

2007-08-27T09:31:00.000-05:00

I must say there's nothing like family to make you more cheerful. Our home is currently under what I fondly think of as the "Canadian Invasion"...an aunt and uncle, a cousin and cousin-in-law with three teenage kids staying at our house. With my sister and brother-in-law and nephew added in, it's a loud and fun mix. I'll be sorry when they leave, but in the meantime, I'm actually feeling much better :)

life as it is

2007-08-23T14:14:00.000-05:00

i consider quitting my job everyday. i rarely get enough sleep, never want to wake in the morning. i have circles under my eyes that won't disappear for about another year, when i finally live with my own husband. not to say it's all bad - thank God for my family and friends and especially my brother who makes me glad i can be home to spend time with him, even if it's just to watch an episode of "so you think you can dance?". but i definitely haven't been living these past couple months. i feel like i'm just dragging along; not really getting anything meaningful done. the best times of my week are when i can go to bodypump at the gym and inflict some satisfying pain on my muscles. but you know what the worst thing is? i'm finding comfort in reading cheesy romance novels. i really have sunk close the to the bottom of the sea - not completely; i still don't watch soap operas - but it's pretty close, isn't it? at the same time, i feel rather guilty for feeling this way too. aren't believers supposed to be cheerful in adversity? my faith hasn't changed, i know this is temporary, but i still feel tired all the time. and it's not because of bodypump.

my husband's home

2007-06-08T16:55:00.000-05:00

so i just came back from my first visit to his hometown. here are some of the experiences i remember the most:

landing at midnight...with only half my luggage.
annoying airport officials.
seeing him, waiting for me.
when we dance, by sting.
a small detour....
arriving home at 3 am.
seeing his house, my inlaws.
toast with mixed fruit jam.
insomnia, for three nights in a row.
waiting for him to come home from office.
sitting in the garden with the family and meeting neighbors.
my adorable new nephew.
feeling weird about servants, as usual.
heat! humidity! sweat! during the day.
even more humid at night. (lots of cool showers.)
meeting a friend of his and a friend of mine at a bookshop.
i think i love bookshops all over the world.
r.k. narayan and hari kunzru.
fresh lime soda, no salt.
the magical properties of coconut water.
the tablets i was supposed to take daily, and i did not.
lots of aquafina.
mangoes!
pomegranates and...chikkus?
meeting his friends...
me eating the icecream and his having the cone.
sizzlers. interesting.
getting married! thane. not happening. but very happy.
no non-veg on mondays.
western ghats, the awesome drive up to khandala, the old route.
arguing about smoking.
why did the chicken cross the road?
coziness. tea and coffee in our room. the step down, the balcony.
the game.
him falling, me being useless. it still makes me laugh!
white wine.
the annoying tune in the elevator. lift, i mean.
chikki. it was ok, but something new.
a crowd gathering to watch the sunset.
learning family customs.
meeting his grandmother. orthodox tea.
staring at family members speaking in marathi, as if my eyes could translate.
shopping. shopping shopping and more shopping.
jewelry, wedding clothes, music, dvds. souvenirs for my office.
more clothes! fabindia and cottonworld and pantaloons!
looking all over phoenix mills for ethnic slippers. (she loved them though.)
driving through slums. it doesn't seem like the same city.
the McVeggie burger, and vada pav. don't ask me which one was better.
his patience, again.
the beautiful bridge. paying the toll.
the flame of the forest.
the scary lady on the billboard.
pictures of unattractive politicians all over the place. (monster trucks.)
pyar ka signaaal.
and the down song.
metro. national geographic's megacities.
having to look the opposite direction for oncoming traffic.
gypsy.
spicy lamb. very good. misal, not so good.
south bombay - gorgeous.
not going to rhythm house.
having to pay to use the toilet. ok it was just one rupee, but still!
headaches and stomaches. luckily brief.
the vicious circle.
the most crowded temple i've ever seen.
cold coffee drinks. sooooooooo good.
the best night of my life.
the engagement ceremony. glowing, happy.
the gang. being teased...because of my non-indianness?
lots of pictures and jokes.
ashburn.
dipping out before all the guests leave.
the best date of my life, and that as a married and engaged woman.
chicken nuggets.
the most expensive but best-tasting cappucino at the taj.
our last night.
lots of tears, different reasons.
our last prayer together.
more shopping. delhi has better sweets.
my father-in-law's practical packing.
the art of living.
waiting at the airport. touching feet. telling him how much i love him.
our rings. his says: for life.

mumbai, until next time!

.

the journey

2007-06-04T10:01:00.001-05:00

a lot of people have mentioned to me that i should write the story of my love's and my journey. i thought about that as i rode the shuttle into work today. we have had so many beautiful moments. from our first online flirting to our first embarassed but wonderful kiss. and finally almost three years later we stood in front of a registrar and vowed to take each other as husband and wife. but what about all those gaps in between?

months and months and months of waiting. six months from our first communication to our first meeting - which lasted only a day and a half. another nine months after that when he came to see me in delhi - again for a day and a half. ten months later he arrives in atlanta, this time for a blessedly long three weeks. after that another seven months until i finally come to his city, his home, to be his wife - for ten days. and now again we wait for seven months again, until finally, finally, we stay together.

what can i say about these stretches of time? i think this last time will be easier, i hope...because it's the last. and because no matter that we are apart we are joined, in mind and spirit and in law. but previous to this there has been desperation and frustration. longing and pure boredom. what is life with no salt? what is romance without any nights out, watching movies and holding hands, admiring the moon in her beauty, sharing life together? what's a relationship without looking into each others' eyes, feeling their arms around you and passing the small moments of daily routine? washing a sinkful of dishes is a chore alone, with him it's a lesson in love and generosity. these days of waiting are keeping yourself busy to pass the time, taking support in friends and family but realizing that the only person who really understands what you're going through is him. yet even that does not stop me from lashing out, wanting to hurt him for causing me hurt in this way, for making me miss him - even though i'm doing the same to him. i hope i have grown out of such insecurity; his patience humbles me.

so seven months to go. i'll see him again, as his bride again....this time, for life.

hiatus

2007-05-08T13:46:00.000-05:00

well i said i was going to try harder to write..and then i stopped again!

but this time it wasn't emotional, it was pure misery from a difficult course in education.

but i have much to write. the words are ready at my fingertips....

writing

2007-03-01T12:22:00.000-05:00

why do we write? well i won't presume to explain it for everyone, but why do i write? as a kid i wrote some half-decent poems and stories. i loved stories mostly, both the reading and the telling of them. but poems are often more intimate, like someone's dream you've stepped into.

i wrote a few poems for previous loves. and then i fell in love with a writer.

what can i say? for one, i feel intimidated by the fact that he can come up with a pretty decent poem in about five minutes. for me, writing to describe what i feel is like taking a tiny needle and etching out each line with my own blood. and even then it's not great - nothing in comparison to what i really feel.

and then there's the distance. i can't romanticize it anymore. i can barely even think about it anymore. when i try the tears come and, well, for one it's hard to write with blurry eyes isn't it?

the funny thing is that now is when it would mean so much to him. when we're together and i'm content, probably i could zip off some lovely verses myself, but then it won't matter as much will it? it's now, during our desert years that every drop of love is so important. even the written love.

so maybe the question no longer is why do i write but why don't i? well, my answer is that i've been weak. i've wrapped my whole life, my whole being into this struggle of simply getting through each day as we tick off the calendar. so my words have dried up....

i have a scrap of paper at home. it's a scribbled set of directions, probably while on the phone. it wasn't to me or for me or even when i was there. but when i see that handwriting my heart lifts a little.

anyway, i'll try harder.

My heart is blue

2007-03-01T12:07:00.000-05:00

Your Heart Is Blue

Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well.
You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return.

Your flirting style: Friendly

Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe

Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish

What you bring to relationships: Loyalty

What Color Heart Do You Have?

jealousy

2006-10-03T10:43:00.000-05:00

The commandment was given "Thou shall not covet". And later it says that all these commandments were given "for our own good" but this one doesn't really seem as important as some of the others. We all recognize that we should not murder, steal, and lie. Honoring our parents is certainly a noble idea. But coveting? What's the harm in that? It's only natural, isn't it, to want what someone else has got? It can be a good thing, driving us to succeed in our careers so that we can have nice things for our family.

While there's nothing wrong in being successful, I've been having a lot of struggles with envy lately. I want what other people have. Or at least, I want how it easy it seems to be for them to have what they do, while everything for me is a struggle: from my career to staying healthy to my long-distance relationship. I've had to wait eighteen months for a second date!

Why does every little thing have to be so hard to accomplish? Is it that way for everyone or is it just me?

I guess it's probably everyone. We all have our own problems, but I've realized that "not coveting" IS in fact for our own good, but not just because it fills your heart with longing for things that are not yours. It's because it makes you forget all of the good things you do have. You take for granted all of the wonderful people and experiences that have enriched your life. Yesterday I cried because of some stupid small thing....forgetting that I don't have that thing because I have something much better. Why do I need both? Why do I forget, keep forgetting, over and over, all of the blessings I have?

My only answer is that it's my flawed human nature. And the solution is to remember, to remind myself again and again how much I have. My better half has always said that wealth is in family, not in things. If I can extend that to the family of my heart and not just my blood, I would agree that I am truly wealthy. I pray I'll not forget that again.

grrrouffff

2006-08-03T16:21:00.000-05:00

for a long time i've been wanting to write about my other half. it's hard to know what to say, i feel like i could write a book on him, though i still have so much to learn about his mind and soul. and yet when i sit here to type there doesn't seem to be a good place to begin.

i suppose i could begin by saying that i don't actually remember falling in love with him. it was not "love at first sight", nor was it gradual. i feel as if it was more of a recognition of each other. the intiation of love must have happened in some other dimension. i believe he saw it first, and then i too...that he is what was missing for so long. i wish i had always had the faith that i would find him, as he did, but i did not. faith is something i learned very recently.

he is always saying that i am braver and stronger than i give myself credit for. in this however, i am not being overly modest. i am neither brave nor strong. in fact i'm afraid of nearly everything, even the things i long for the most. but the truth is that i've learned to take strength when i need it, from outside of myself. this is something everyone needs to learn at some point, if subconsciously. i have my faith to draw upon, always, an endless river of peace and resolve. but now i also have satyajit. he likes to use the yin/yang metaphor....i never thought much of it until now. but yes, he is my balance, in every way i can think of.

and i admire him so much too. he's talented and creative. smart, intellectual. i was attracted to his mind before i ever saw his face. and perhaps all this even would have been enough for me. he's the most interesting person i know; self-confident without being arrogant. not many people can be that, and with such ease. but i think what will keep me by his side forever is his absolutely generous heart. to me yes, and to his family, his friends...almost everyone he comes across. he cares about his family and the world we live in. and me he loves without holding back. completely. my wish is that everyone gets to be loved like this in their lives, and my prayer that i will always live up to it, and love him the same way.

i don't know what will happen in the future. we aren't even together yet, physically. but we are united. i've been thinking a lot about the future, marriage, commitment. one thing i know about the future is that, though we can't always control our situations, we can always choose to be our best. he deserves nothing less. we deserve nothing less. he is my best, my better half. and i'm supremely lucky, blessed, and grateful for that.

kalanchoe blossfeldiana

2006-07-26T11:14:00.000-05:00

the name of this species is a bit of a mouthful, isn't it? but it's actually a lovely little plant. it's a succulent, related to the cactus family. it comes in different colors.
i went to "the flower cart" and saw deep red and bright pink varieties. but the one i chose has petals that blush almost - white in the center and a delicate pink at the edges.

i bought this on a day when i felt i needed to be proactive against frustration. i've been up and down emotionally lately...i thought, how about a good-looking companion to sit on my desk and cheer me up? unfortunately my boyfriend is too far away...

i like how it's both sturdy and pretty. it survives the indoors well - far away from it's natural element of loving sunshine. since i am away from mine right now too, i think we make good friends.

perspective

2006-07-07T10:15:00.000-05:00

"How was your day?"

The question seemed to come out of nowhere. I looked over at Norma, blinked at her, and turned back to her computer screen. Blinked again.

I had come to her house after work. We had to finalize the website content for Zimbabwe. But first we were selecting some pictures to include with an article that was going to be written about Reaching Hearts for Kids.

I arrived at her house around 6:30. Norma is Palestianian, raised in Jordan. Ingrained in her being is traditional middle eastern hospitality - she must offer me something to eat while I am in her home. (Currently her office is a tiny room in her apartment. We look forward to having a real office one day.) As I walked in her office she handed me a plate of sliced melons and some cake, and immediately began discussing what we had to get done. We both tend to be "let's get down to business" type of people. Though we have a high regard for each other, we don't always show it.

Anyway so we were working on the pictures. I'd already eaten most of the melon, while trying to resize some of the pictures so they'd be easier to email. When she asked how my day was, I was working on the picture entitled "Boy Crying Over Empty Bowl". She had received it a few months ago from a worker in Kenya, and thought it would be good to include in the article. I guess at that point she realized we'd skipped some pleasantries when I came in, and asked me how my day was.

Honestly, at that point, I had no clue. I looked at her, and back at the computer, and I couldn't even remember how my day was. What happened today? I didn't remember. Later on I remembered how depressed I'd been lately, how I'd been having trouble sleeping - which led to a lot of aches and grogginess during the day. I still would continue with all that, for the next few days. But you know, compared to the Boy with the Empty Bowl, my day was just fine. Compared to the little girls of Zimbabwe...my day was spectacular.

Persian wisdom

2006-07-03T13:05:00.000-05:00

The past week was rather hard, but when Saturday came, the sky was clear and the sun was bright. I woke early, I prepared my lesson, I spoke to my love for a few minutes. I wore a flowing white skirt traced with beautiful embroidery. I felt the peace and the joy of the day of rest.

A friend of mine, Abraham, related this to me, in his mild Iranian accent: "When the wind blows the branches of the tree, it is then that its roots grow deep." He waved his hands to depict the wind blowing through the tree and smiled, as he always does, with kindness and mirth. A long time back he had told me his own story, of how he had accepted a new faith and was ostracized from his family for it. Long before I was born, he said with a twinkle in his eye. He went to Lebanon for a time and finally came here, where he met his wife of almost forty years. They just recently came back from a trip to Alaska.

We have the privelege to pray any where and at any time. To savor our relationship with God in a beautiful building, a simple house, or ensconced within the beauty of nature. But one of the joys of fellowship is to learn and be inspired by others who have traveled much longer journeys of faith than you have.

Well, I don't know if my weakness has made me stronger or not. But it's made more aware of my own habits, of keeping track of the things within my mind. Of exhaling. And of the need to listen to good advice.

bad day

2006-06-27T14:53:00.000-05:00

yesterday i wasn't having such a good day. i had to wake up early on a monday morning...rush through a workout and then rush through my hour-long commute in the morning in order to make it to my training session at work on time.

i did make it on time. our first lecturer did not. overall the morning wasn't too bad. i was restless but i made every effort to listen. but then our last lecturer was also late. and our lunch got lost. i was feeling a bit light-headed and tired.

well after work i had to go to teach bible study, as i do on mondays. one attendee had already sms'd me to say he couldn't make it. i toyed with the idea of cancelling, as i wasn't feeling that up to it anyway...but before i knew it, it was 4 o'clock and i'd neither cancelled nor prepared. well, i thought, no problem, i'll just quickly go over my notes for the chapter were studying.

as you can guess, i didn't have any notes. or at least not with me. there is a lady named laverna who is truly an angel. a pet project of hers a couple of years ago was to put a lot of study materials online. i checked out her website to see if there was anything on the study we were doing.

the chapter was revelation 16 - the seven angels and the seven plagues that finish God's wrath.

we don't often think of God as being wrathful. and yet we shouldn't forget that though God is a deity of love and mercy, He is also pure and just. He cannot condone those who suppress His truth and oppress His people - and it is against those these plagues are poured out. but you cannot understand this chapter without going way back into the old testament, and studying leviticus 26 - the blessings and the curses. someone may look at this chapter and feel uncomfortable about the harshness of it, but again, it's something that must be taken into context. the context of God revealing Himself to an entire nation, of rescuing them out of slavery, sustaining them in the desert, and performing miracle after miracle in their sight. of His longing to create, out of that nation, a priesthood of people who would then carry His love to the rest of the world.

as i started driving from work i was feeling worse and worse. my throat was feeling dry and scratchy and my skull felt tight. and already my stomach was feeling weird from the late lunch/heavy lunch. i really didn't want to teach that day. but i went through it anyway and i covered about half of the chapter, talking about how each plague tied back to something in the old testament. one of my friends was really amazed by it. he's been studying for about a year and ready to get baptized soon, and after the study was 0ver i was really blessed by his enthusiasm for studying the scripture and also the fact that he's already sharing his faith in God and in the bible to his family. i'm so proud of him. it kind of made the whole day worthwhile.

it's amazing how God can do that.

i'm hoping He'll do it again today...

the world's shortest personality test

2006-06-19T15:01:00.000-05:00

Your Personality Profile

You are dignified, spiritual, and wise.
Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself.
You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books.

You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.
You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.
A good friend, you always give of yourself first.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

life, the universe, and everything

2006-06-09T12:29:00.000-05:00

everyone has the same question, at some point in their lives, if not for a large part of it. ph.d.'s in philosophy spend their entire lives on it, physicists wonder about it too.

why are we here?

i can answer that question. not because i'm wise but this just what i've learned, through everything that's been good or painful in my life. i'm not that old i know...but i think when i am older, when i've reached the twilight of my life, my perspective on this will only have deepened, not shifted.

so what is it? it's to give of ourselves.

oh, this may sound ridiculous to some, overly naive, overly simplistic perhaps. but i know with absolute conviction that this is truth.
we are here to have a purpose and a meaning. an interconnectedness. to affect each other, cause reactions...in a good way. to live to learn to grow...and give.

if vocabulary were cleaner i'd say it was all about love. but the word "love" is murky. it's hard to always conceptualize love as it should be - pure and unselfish. therefore i say "to give", for that is love in it's purest form. giving of yourself to your world, to your family, to your friends and to that one you love the most. to your creator. to complete strangers.

and by no means does all this giving mean self-sacrifice! hardly. for it's also accepting what the world has to offer. without shame or reservation.

this is a universal principle: active love. i believe all of creation is built on this foundation and our lives have no true meaning until we recognize it.

i cannot say that i've come to live this way fully. certainly not. but now i understand what it means to live, what it means to be a part of this world. and my goal will always be that my life be in harmony with this principle.

john donne once wrote that no man is an island. that when someone dies, not to ask for whom the bell tolls, for it tolls for you. that's not meant in a morbid way, just to mean that we all have value to each other, whether we recognize it or not. but i think we'll never live our lives fully until we do.

Orientation

2006-06-05T15:04:00.000-05:00

The other morning I met about a hundred people all at once. I can't say I remember all of their names, but I was extremely impressed to be in that room in such company. A hundred people all with the drive to make a difference in the world by addressing and improving specific health concerns all over the world: in every race, class, age group and cirumstance.

One man works for an NGO in Delhi in social marketing for population control. Another a physican who works in the ER of a small hospital outside of Philly. Pediatricians, internists, oncologists. A woman who works for the Red Cross, another for CARE International. Others work in various African countries to help stop the AIDS epidemic. A research nurse, another clincial research coordinator like me. An employee of a pharmaceutical company. A lawyer, a lobbyist. Goverment workers employed in various agencies such as the National Institute of Health and the Environmental Protection Agency. Pathologists.

Mothers with grown children and mothers with babies. Young fathers and older ones. Singles in their late twenties, newlyweds. Military veterans, or the spouses of officers. One man traveled from Niger to support his wife. Others flew in from Singapore, India, Azerbaijan. Canada. New Mexico, New York, North Dakota. Botswana.

All with different backgrounds, different histories and environments. Different goals. Different reasons for coming together in the same room. But all with one purpose - to help people and peoples live, and live better. I don't know what I'm going to be learning in the next couple of years. I just know this is the first time I feel like I'm going to be a part of something that matters, and that it matters that I'll be a part of it. I know I'll be learning a lot from these people that I've described, and from others as well. And I sincerely hope that I'll be able to put all that into good use, for the improvement of public health.

Borders

2006-06-02T17:12:00.000-05:00

I wish to roam the planet at will. And not virtually, either.

I want to eat chocolate in Ireland, Greek food in Greece. Laze on a houseboat with my love, and sail down the Nile with him too. Visit the Incan ruins, Stonehenge. Wonder at civilizations long gone. How did they live? What did they believe, fear, hold sacred? What were their legends and what did they eat?

I have a thirst in me to see the world. To see, taste, meet, experience this planet. I don't think I can leave this life until I have. I want to visit the childhood home of my best friend in Ghana. I want to stand on a ledge over a canyon in Wyoming. Drive from Silver Spring to San Francisco and then decide if we want to come back.

I'm not saying I'm a wanderer. I need to nest just like any woman. Have a little house and garden and library of my own. Kids and dogs running around, with me and my love running after them. But why is it so hard to see our own world while we're busy earning a paycheck, buying groceries, and commuting through traffic? Because of safety reasons we cannot go where we want when we want without adhering to regulations. Because of cost we cannot even do that whenever we want to. There's bills to pay and fees and futures to plan for. We need security. I need security. I'm like everyone else.

But want to see the world, too.