the journey

a lot of people have mentioned to me that i should write the story of my love's and my journey. i thought about that as i rode the shuttle into work today. we have had so many beautiful moments. from our first online flirting to our first embarassed but wonderful kiss. and finally almost three years later we stood in front of a registrar and vowed to take each other as husband and wife. but what about all those gaps in between?

months and months and months of waiting. six months from our first communication to our first meeting - which lasted only a day and a half. another nine months after that when he came to see me in delhi - again for a day and a half. ten months later he arrives in atlanta, this time for a blessedly long three weeks. after that another seven months until i finally come to his city, his home, to be his wife - for ten days. and now again we wait for seven months again, until finally, finally, we stay together.

what can i say about these stretches of time? i think this last time will be easier, i hope...because it's the last. and because no matter that we are apart we are joined, in mind and spirit and in law. but previous to this there has been desperation and frustration. longing and pure boredom. what is life with no salt? what is romance without any nights out, watching movies and holding hands, admiring the moon in her beauty, sharing life together? what's a relationship without looking into each others' eyes, feeling their arms around you and passing the small moments of daily routine? washing a sinkful of dishes is a chore alone, with him it's a lesson in love and generosity. these days of waiting are keeping yourself busy to pass the time, taking support in friends and family but realizing that the only person who really understands what you're going through is him. yet even that does not stop me from lashing out, wanting to hurt him for causing me hurt in this way, for making me miss him - even though i'm doing the same to him. i hope i have grown out of such insecurity; his patience humbles me.

so seven months to go. i'll see him again, as his bride again....this time, for life.