life as it is

i consider quitting my job everyday. i rarely get enough sleep, never want to wake in the morning. i have circles under my eyes that won't disappear for about another year, when i finally live with my own husband. not to say it's all bad - thank God for my family and friends and especially my brother who makes me glad i can be home to spend time with him, even if it's just to watch an episode of "so you think you can dance?". but i definitely haven't been living these past couple months. i feel like i'm just dragging along; not really getting anything meaningful done. the best times of my week are when i can go to bodypump at the gym and inflict some satisfying pain on my muscles. but you know what the worst thing is? i'm finding comfort in reading cheesy romance novels. i really have sunk close the to the bottom of the sea - not completely; i still don't watch soap operas - but it's pretty close, isn't it? at the same time, i feel rather guilty for feeling this way too. aren't believers supposed to be cheerful in adversity? my faith hasn't changed, i know this is temporary, but i still feel tired all the time. and it's not because of bodypump.