blueness

the heart of a sapphire, the flame of love, the law of the universe and the beauty of life.

Friday, June 08, 2007

my husband's home

so i just came back from my first visit to his hometown. here are some of the experiences i remember the most:

landing at midnight...with only half my luggage.
annoying airport officials.
seeing him, waiting for me.
when we dance, by sting.
a small detour....
arriving home at 3 am.
seeing his house, my inlaws.
toast with mixed fruit jam.
insomnia, for three nights in a row.
waiting for him to come home from office.
sitting in the garden with the family and meeting neighbors.
my adorable new nephew.
feeling weird about servants, as usual.
heat! humidity! sweat! during the day.
even more humid at night. (lots of cool showers.)
meeting a friend of his and a friend of mine at a bookshop.
i think i love bookshops all over the world.
r.k. narayan and hari kunzru.
fresh lime soda, no salt.
the magical properties of coconut water.
the tablets i was supposed to take daily, and i did not.
lots of aquafina.
mangoes!
pomegranates and...chikkus?
meeting his friends...
me eating the icecream and his having the cone.
sizzlers. interesting.
getting married! thane. not happening. but very happy.
no non-veg on mondays.
western ghats, the awesome drive up to khandala, the old route.
arguing about smoking.
why did the chicken cross the road?
coziness. tea and coffee in our room. the step down, the balcony.
the game.
him falling, me being useless. it still makes me laugh!
white wine.
the annoying tune in the elevator. lift, i mean.
chikki. it was ok, but something new.
a crowd gathering to watch the sunset.
learning family customs.
meeting his grandmother. orthodox tea.
staring at family members speaking in marathi, as if my eyes could translate.
shopping. shopping shopping and more shopping.
jewelry, wedding clothes, music, dvds. souvenirs for my office.
more clothes! fabindia and cottonworld and pantaloons!
looking all over phoenix mills for ethnic slippers. (she loved them though.)
driving through slums. it doesn't seem like the same city.
the McVeggie burger, and vada pav. don't ask me which one was better.
his patience, again.
the beautiful bridge. paying the toll.
the flame of the forest.
the scary lady on the billboard.
pictures of unattractive politicians all over the place. (monster trucks.)
pyar ka signaaal.
and the down song.
metro. national geographic's megacities.
having to look the opposite direction for oncoming traffic.
gypsy.
spicy lamb. very good. misal, not so good.
south bombay - gorgeous.
not going to rhythm house.
having to pay to use the toilet. ok it was just one rupee, but still!
headaches and stomaches. luckily brief.
the vicious circle.
the most crowded temple i've ever seen.
cold coffee drinks. sooooooooo good.
the best night of my life.
the engagement ceremony. glowing, happy.
the gang. being teased...because of my non-indianness?
lots of pictures and jokes.
ashburn.
dipping out before all the guests leave.
the best date of my life, and that as a married and engaged woman.
chicken nuggets.
the most expensive but best-tasting cappucino at the taj.
our last night.
lots of tears, different reasons.
our last prayer together.
more shopping. delhi has better sweets.
my father-in-law's practical packing.
the art of living.
waiting at the airport. touching feet. telling him how much i love him.
our rings. his says: for life.


mumbai, until next time!


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Monday, June 04, 2007

the journey

a lot of people have mentioned to me that i should write the story of my love's and my journey. i thought about that as i rode the shuttle into work today. we have had so many beautiful moments. from our first online flirting to our first embarassed but wonderful kiss. and finally almost three years later we stood in front of a registrar and vowed to take each other as husband and wife. but what about all those gaps in between?

months and months and months of waiting. six months from our first communication to our first meeting - which lasted only a day and a half. another nine months after that when he came to see me in delhi - again for a day and a half. ten months later he arrives in atlanta, this time for a blessedly long three weeks. after that another seven months until i finally come to his city, his home, to be his wife - for ten days. and now again we wait for seven months again, until finally, finally, we stay together.

what can i say about these stretches of time? i think this last time will be easier, i hope...because it's the last. and because no matter that we are apart we are joined, in mind and spirit and in law. but previous to this there has been desperation and frustration. longing and pure boredom. what is life with no salt? what is romance without any nights out, watching movies and holding hands, admiring the moon in her beauty, sharing life together? what's a relationship without looking into each others' eyes, feeling their arms around you and passing the small moments of daily routine? washing a sinkful of dishes is a chore alone, with him it's a lesson in love and generosity. these days of waiting are keeping yourself busy to pass the time, taking support in friends and family but realizing that the only person who really understands what you're going through is him. yet even that does not stop me from lashing out, wanting to hurt him for causing me hurt in this way, for making me miss him - even though i'm doing the same to him. i hope i have grown out of such insecurity; his patience humbles me.

so seven months to go. i'll see him again, as his bride again....this time, for life.